So, my step-mother (technically… it’s a long story) posted this to her Facebook Status…
Every woman deserves a man who calls her baby, kisses her like he means it. Holds her tight like he never wants to let go, doesn’t make her jealous of other women, instead makes other women jealous of her, is not scared to let his friends and family know how he really feels about her and won’t let any of them treat her bad, lets her know how much he really loves her…
…and it really got me thinking. It really struck a chord. Normally, I ignore über right-wing FB Status Updates, requests to join their Mafia, or play Be-Jeweled… especially when they end with “if you agree, then please re-post.” I’m just not that much of a follower… I guess. Well, she got me this time.
What struck me the most was “…doesn’t make her jealous of other women, instead makes other women jealous of her…” Wow. That’s exactly where I’ve failed… especially with my ex-girlfriend. And it’s not a difficult thing to do. I mean, how hard is it to be attentive to your soul-mate’s needs? So, why in God’s name did I make such a painfully obvious mistake? I’m still trying to figure it out.
Conversely, Ken at “Everything Must Go” offered his male perspective thus:
Every man deserves a woman who respects him to his face and behind his back, doesn’t cheat, doesn’t sexually reject him but is an enthusiastic lover, keeps herself together, doesn’t make him jealous of other men, instead makes other men jealous of him, sends him off to have time with the guys with a smile instead of eye-daggers, lets him do things for her, doesn’t treat him like one of her girlfriends, tells him what she needs instead of expecting him to read her mind or decipher hints, is not scared to let her friends know how she really feels about him, and lets him know how much she appreciates and respects him…
From my perspective, these feel as close to a perfect analysis as I’ve read in quite a while.
Women are not accustomed to men who are straight-forward or blunt… whereas, men do not like having to second-guess their mate’s intentions. Wow! It’s a miracle that ANY of us can get along. Both sexes are behind the eight-ball every step of the moment.
My advice to everyone who reads this: Stop the nonsense! Get with the program! You are in love! Shout it out from the mountain tops! You are going to have differences. It’s SO very common. Trust them as much as they trust you. Tell them what you are feeling. Don’t be ashamed. You have their back, right? Take the criticism. They wouldn’t be offering if they didn’t give a damn. Do what needs to be done. Get help… some really good help. The two of you can’t do this alone, can you? Take those dancing lessons, get into couples-therapy, sing, dance, eat, be vulnerable, help them, do what it takes. You love them, right? Of course you do. That’s why the two of you will survive… because, the two of you are in love with each other… and that is a beautiful thing.
Make those other couples jealous. Do it. I dare you.
I’ve “shanked” the best relationship I have ever had because of my stubbornness. Please… don’t let this happen to you.




The digital Renaissance Man of Eastern Iowa [





