Since my mother, Mary Albers, passed away, I’ve felt rather listless. Mom had a knack for helping me put life into perspective. And, now that she’s “shuffled off this mortal coil”…I’ve felt a little out of my element… so to speak. It’s one thing to know that you are OK, but it’s completely another to actually “know” it.
Now that I have another “failed” relationship under my belt, I find myself in a state of searching. “For what,” you ask? Well, it’s feels rather nebulous at the moment. Like a steaming cup of coffee after you’ve poured-in some half-and-half, but before you’ve stirred it completely. All those creamy tentacles reaching out to every nook and cranny of the cup.
Perhaps it’s work. I enjoy what I’ve doing, but it feels as if I am over-qualified. My former manager informed me that I need to stake my claim, find a problem and solve it. However, with the recent layoffs and consolidations, it is becoming more and more difficult to find my niche.
Perhaps it’s my improv troupe. Now that I am the “de facto” leader, perhaps I can lead the group into new directions. Directions that we’ve only talked about in the past. Yet, it is taking a tremendous amount of work to gather the current ensemble in one place for for frequent and periodic rehearsals. Half of them are so busy with their own lives. I can’t blame them. Far be it for me to think that improv comedy be at the top of everyone’s list of priorities. I can’t replace them. That feels far too drastic. Audition a few more? Perhaps, but the last few exciting possibilities simply didn’t pan out.
Perhaps it’s web designing. There are so many terrible business websites out there. My “com padre’s” are excited at the prospect, but our current “client” is finding it difficult to deliver the content we need to successfully implement our design. Of course, we need more “guinea pigs” that will allow us to rework their current website. If we really want to tackle to small business market, we’ll need more clients than ever to actually make a living at it. Time will tell.
Perhaps it’s something I have yet to consider? Something just over the horizon…and I have yet to spot it with my telescope. Who knows?
Until then, life goes on… and I look forward to what it brings.